The TRUTH about motherhood

A few days ago on our way to the pediatrician to check for an ear infection (which he did end up having) Mikey did something that plainly shocked me.  He decided that he will not be wearing his baseball hat on this car ride and cried, screamed, and threw things at me insisted on wearing his huge, wool, just in case a winter blizzard hits hat, left over from winter.

I really wasn’t in the mood to argue with him and it was one of those pick your battles type things so I let him wear it.  On the way there I was wondering if I made a horrible mistake by giving in to his tantrum.  Have I created “that child’ that goes to school in April wearing his halloween costume just because he wanted to?  I couldn’t care less if other people let their children do this but after working in daycare for the past 4 or so years I always told myself I would never do that. 

After I finished that thought, we parked the car and I quickly yanked that hideous hat off his head and we proceeded to the doctor’s office hatless.

The next evening I was excited after his bath time because I just got him some new pajamas.  Am I the only mother that gets excited when buying clothes for kids and cannot wait to put them on? I don’t get that excited when  I buy clothes for myself! 

Anyways…So I whip out the cutest red pajama set from Children’s Place.  I am so hapy to give away all the footsie pajama’s we have left over from winter.  That’s another thing I swore I would never do.  When I was pregnant with Mikey I was looking at those huge footed Pajamas and wondered why in the world a child that big still needs to wear those.  Well for some reason mine did…in my defense our heating sucks and it was chilly upstairs.

I got off topic again didn’t I? Oh yea, the red pajamas.  So I start putting them on him and once again the little bugger manages to shock me.  He begins to scream, pull off his pajama’s insist that he does not want red pajama’s, he wants blue pajama’s. 

Am I wrong to think he’s a little young to care what he is dressed in?  What am I in for when he gets older?  I know he does not get that from me.  I think his dad needs to stop analayzing his own clothing choices infront of his son.

I’ve always been awful when it came to saving money and sticking to a budget. I never thought things out and planned ahead. I am an in the moment kind of person and just deal with things when the time comes. I decided to work on that though. I was so proud of myself last night after I came back from my retail therapy trip.

I set a budget. I gave myself X amount of dollars and needed to come home with two jackets. I was in desperate need of a fancy jacket and an everyday durable jacket for taking Mikey to the park and whatnot.

Usually in a situation like this I would go into a store, pick the ones I like and buy them, most of the time I wouldn’t even look at the price tag. Then I would regret paying so much for it next few days. Last night though I actually shopped around. and for those of you that know me probably realise what a big deal that is.

I actually spent an hour trying on and comparing two jackets that I actually liked. That’s another thing I never do, try things on. I buy more or less my size and tell myself I can always return or exchange it later…which I never get around to doing.

On my X budget last night I bought not only two but THREE jackets!!! I also got a bag, pants and a wallet. I still had money left over for shoes but at the last minute decided against them…they weren’t THAT nice.

I did so well that I decided to try this thinking on our grocery shopping as well. I actually made a list and am planning on sticking to it, I wonder how much we can actually save by doing this.

I find it rather amusing that two years ago my biggest worry was which club we’d be spending our Saturday night. Now my worries are grocery shopping and being cheap…umm I mean thrifty.

Today is going to be a long day for me. Last night was awful. Mikey has a bit of a cold and was up every half hour until 3am. I was finally able to shake off the sleepiness and think logically enough to give him some Tylenol. That did the trick and I was able to sleep until 7. I have to do some emergency cleaning since w have guests coming from Europe tomorrow. I’m till trying to figure out where to put them. I’ll deal with that when the time comes…

Did anyone read the book I’m reffering to in my title?

When I was in my teens I used to be quite rebellious towards adults and their view of life.  I couldn’t stand when they would tell me what life is about and how to live it, i wanted to experience it myyself.

I think the area I rebelled in the most was religion. I read a lot about it and always questioned the blind faith mentality they were trying to force upon us at the Catholic school and church. I remember when our local priest came to talk to us about our confirmation in grade 8. A friend and I were able to debate with him on every point the came up with. After about half an hour of this he got so angry at us he just stormed out of the classroom. I mean it was pretty unheard of to argue with a Catholic priest on the finer points of religion.

Our teacher ended up yelling at us for another half hour and asked us to opt out of confirmation if we had such issues with the catholic religion. The point there with me wasn’t that I didn’t believe in it. I was just looking for something more. I think that when one starts questioning their religion and faith it is actually growing and maturing. I was just ready for something more than bible stories and parables.

No one offered to help expand my faith and I grew to resent the Catholic church. I stopped going to mass every Sunday and I spent the rest of my life disproving church myths and traditions. I think a lot of it has to do with that particular priest. He refused to marry an interracial couple even though they were both Catholic. He refused confession to someone who was living common law. He gave single mothers lectures on how he doesn’t care that they have to work two jobs they still need to get to church on time. I even witnessed him asking a mother to leave mass because her baby was crying. It was just all so contradictory to me with what the bible had to say on these topics.

I know not all priests are like that but those experiences left such a sour taste in my mouth that I just couldn’t bother. To be honest it was easier that way for me as well. I could sleep in on Sundays and could push back guilt for my many sins.

Now as I get older I find myself wanting to try again. I have started calling on my faith and God lately during hard times. I didn’t even realise how much that has been helping me until recently. There are still things I do not agree with in the Catholic church itself but I think we’d both be willing to make a compromise.

Last night while channel surfing I stumbled upon a documentry that has had an enormous affect on me and my view of humanity.  I am an avid documentary watcher but I haven’t seen something so shocking and heart breaking in quite some time.  It was most difficult to watch since I am a mother now.  I ask anyone who reads this blog to set aside an hour and a half today and watch it…then do something to help these children…or any children that you may know of that are suffering, and we all know too well that there are children suffering everywhere in the world.

I will warn you that the documentary is graphic and very hard to watch but it amazes me that places like these exist and I am glad someone is calling attention to it.

http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=944239315372248151&q=bulgaria%27s+abandoned+children&total=12&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0

 If the link doesn’t work please just search for Bulgaria’s Abandoned Children on google video.