The TRUTH about motherhood

It makes me ashamed how I complain about my problems when I get news like this.  This news has hit me so hard.  Help me pray for this family and hug your children extra tight. 

Many of the blogs I’m reading are doing this so I thought I would give it a try

1. My real name is Dorota

2. I prefer to be called Dorothy

3. Better yet, Dori is what most people call me

4. I moved to Canada when I was 7

5. I met my husband on a visit to Poland after not being there for almost 12 years

6. We were in a long distance relationship for a year before we got married

7. And a year after we got married

8. I lived in Poland with him for about 6mos and couldn’t stand it

9. I’m a true Torontonian and couldn’t imagine living anywhere else

10. I used to love to write and actually had a talent for it

11. I think pregnancy ate some of that talent

12. Mikey was a total and complete surprise but he’s the best thing that ever happened to me

13. I love cats

14. I love watching documentaries

15. And musicals

16. I’m tone deaf, cannot sing for the life of me

17. I’m not artistic

18. Or crafty

19. or athletic

20. the above things I can do on a two year old level and that is why I think I am such a good early childhood educator

21. I will be the first person in our family, EVER, in 100s of years, to graduate from College

22. I also hold that title for being the 1st high school graduate

23. I hate my curly hair

24. I love my hair straightener

25. I hate clothes and shoe shopping

26. I love shopping for make-up

27. I don’t spend money responsibly and have a hard time sticking to a budget

28. I have a few bad habits that I need to quit

29. My personal hell is folding laundry

30. If given the opportunity I could easily sleep in to 2pm

31. my dream is to visit Rome and Egypt

32. I have a huge interest in WWII history

33.The only famous person I ever met was Jordan Knight from New Kids on the Block

34. I hate decorating and am getting a panic attack just thinking about our upcoming move into a new house

35. I could eat pasta all day, for breakfast, lunch, dinner…and sometimes I do

36. Mikey is a spirited child

37. I get coffee craving daily but don’t actually drink it

38. I’m not into nature and would pick a crowded mall over a walk in the woods

39. I refuse to stay at home alone after dark

40. Mirrors creep me out at night and I avoid looking at them on my way tot he washroom

41. I’m thinking of opening a large scale day care

42. I own three pairs of shoes not including flip-flops

43. I own two purses

44. That is proof how much I dislike shopping

45. I’m not planning on having any more children

46. We are getting a puppy in about two months (think I’m trying to tell my biological clock to shut up?

47. I would love to be on an episode of the amazing race

48. The only times I have been out of the country are the few visits to Poland, a grade 8 trip to Washington DC and a layover in Heathrow Airport

49. I love card and board games

50. I’m 24

 I’m sorry to do this but I absolutely had to review this product.

I’ve had bad skin since those awkward teenage years. I know everyone always says this but I have tried EVERYTHING to get it all under control. The only thing I refused to take was accutane and similar drugs since the problems always come back once you get off it.

The one thing I thought for sure would work was Proactive. I heard so many great stories about it before. Well, how do I put this mildly…it sucked! The only good thing out of that whole kit was the oil controlling serum which made my 8 layers of make up stay on all day.

I finally gave up and decided to accept the fact that this is my skin and nothing will change that.

Two months ago I was doing some impulsive shopping, which for me means buying things that look nice but I most likely don’t need or won’t use. I saw the Clean & Clear Advantage system. It looked very similar to proactive as it was a three step program but the bottles were a shiny silver color and I decided to try it.

I haven’t looked back since. It is so far the best thing I have ever tried. It started working in about 3 days and I’m thrilled with the results. No more breakouts. My skin is still red from previous incidents but everything is healed and for the past two months I think I had about 3 tiny pimples which didn’t last more than a couple of days.

And now a message from our sponsors…

Ritz  crackers, if Mikey (the world’s pickiest eater) will eat them, then you know they have to be good!

And now back to the program…

I’ve gotten to know my skin pretty well all these years while searching for that miracle product. I know I have very sensitive and dry skin. I knew which products had the tendency to irritate it. Benzyl Peroxide was one of these ingredients and it is a main ingredient in this product.

The best part about this??? It cost me less than $25.00 for an almost two month supply.

Potty training is not something I look forward to.  To be honest I keep putting it off simply due to my own laziness.  I came up with a fabulous argument as to why I will start it with him sometime around fall.

Mikey had other plans yesterday….

As his blue potty sits behind our toilet gathering dust he decided he wants to go on the big potty.

It was cute, he sat on it still in his diaper and then Ella, his cousin wanted to try.  They were clapping and cheering for each other.  So before bed time I decided to test the waters and asked him if he would like to go potty on the big toilet.  He said “No, I potty in tub”

So we had a talk for about the 100^th time that we do not go potty in the tub.  Then I pulled out the big guns and bribed him.  I told him if he sits on the big toilet he will get chocolate.  Didn’t even have to ask him twice.

He’s such a trooper.  He sat there for a few minutes and tried really hard to go but obviously didn’t have the need to do that.  At one point he even said, “Help me pee mommy”

Once again Mikey has proven to me that he knows when he is ready for something and he always comes around.  That is why I’m not going to switch his crib to a toddler bed until he lets me know he is ready, and that is why I will not throw out his pacifiers until he does it himself.

A few days ago on our way to the pediatrician to check for an ear infection (which he did end up having) Mikey did something that plainly shocked me.  He decided that he will not be wearing his baseball hat on this car ride and cried, screamed, and threw things at me insisted on wearing his huge, wool, just in case a winter blizzard hits hat, left over from winter.

I really wasn’t in the mood to argue with him and it was one of those pick your battles type things so I let him wear it.  On the way there I was wondering if I made a horrible mistake by giving in to his tantrum.  Have I created “that child’ that goes to school in April wearing his halloween costume just because he wanted to?  I couldn’t care less if other people let their children do this but after working in daycare for the past 4 or so years I always told myself I would never do that. 

After I finished that thought, we parked the car and I quickly yanked that hideous hat off his head and we proceeded to the doctor’s office hatless.

The next evening I was excited after his bath time because I just got him some new pajamas.  Am I the only mother that gets excited when buying clothes for kids and cannot wait to put them on? I don’t get that excited when  I buy clothes for myself! 

Anyways…So I whip out the cutest red pajama set from Children’s Place.  I am so hapy to give away all the footsie pajama’s we have left over from winter.  That’s another thing I swore I would never do.  When I was pregnant with Mikey I was looking at those huge footed Pajamas and wondered why in the world a child that big still needs to wear those.  Well for some reason mine did…in my defense our heating sucks and it was chilly upstairs.

I got off topic again didn’t I? Oh yea, the red pajamas.  So I start putting them on him and once again the little bugger manages to shock me.  He begins to scream, pull off his pajama’s insist that he does not want red pajama’s, he wants blue pajama’s. 

Am I wrong to think he’s a little young to care what he is dressed in?  What am I in for when he gets older?  I know he does not get that from me.  I think his dad needs to stop analayzing his own clothing choices infront of his son.

I’ve always been awful when it came to saving money and sticking to a budget. I never thought things out and planned ahead. I am an in the moment kind of person and just deal with things when the time comes. I decided to work on that though. I was so proud of myself last night after I came back from my retail therapy trip.

I set a budget. I gave myself X amount of dollars and needed to come home with two jackets. I was in desperate need of a fancy jacket and an everyday durable jacket for taking Mikey to the park and whatnot.

Usually in a situation like this I would go into a store, pick the ones I like and buy them, most of the time I wouldn’t even look at the price tag. Then I would regret paying so much for it next few days. Last night though I actually shopped around. and for those of you that know me probably realise what a big deal that is.

I actually spent an hour trying on and comparing two jackets that I actually liked. That’s another thing I never do, try things on. I buy more or less my size and tell myself I can always return or exchange it later…which I never get around to doing.

On my X budget last night I bought not only two but THREE jackets!!! I also got a bag, pants and a wallet. I still had money left over for shoes but at the last minute decided against them…they weren’t THAT nice.

I did so well that I decided to try this thinking on our grocery shopping as well. I actually made a list and am planning on sticking to it, I wonder how much we can actually save by doing this.

I find it rather amusing that two years ago my biggest worry was which club we’d be spending our Saturday night. Now my worries are grocery shopping and being cheap…umm I mean thrifty.

Today is going to be a long day for me. Last night was awful. Mikey has a bit of a cold and was up every half hour until 3am. I was finally able to shake off the sleepiness and think logically enough to give him some Tylenol. That did the trick and I was able to sleep until 7. I have to do some emergency cleaning since w have guests coming from Europe tomorrow. I’m till trying to figure out where to put them. I’ll deal with that when the time comes…

Did anyone read the book I’m reffering to in my title?

When I was in my teens I used to be quite rebellious towards adults and their view of life.  I couldn’t stand when they would tell me what life is about and how to live it, i wanted to experience it myyself.

I think the area I rebelled in the most was religion. I read a lot about it and always questioned the blind faith mentality they were trying to force upon us at the Catholic school and church. I remember when our local priest came to talk to us about our confirmation in grade 8. A friend and I were able to debate with him on every point the came up with. After about half an hour of this he got so angry at us he just stormed out of the classroom. I mean it was pretty unheard of to argue with a Catholic priest on the finer points of religion.

Our teacher ended up yelling at us for another half hour and asked us to opt out of confirmation if we had such issues with the catholic religion. The point there with me wasn’t that I didn’t believe in it. I was just looking for something more. I think that when one starts questioning their religion and faith it is actually growing and maturing. I was just ready for something more than bible stories and parables.

No one offered to help expand my faith and I grew to resent the Catholic church. I stopped going to mass every Sunday and I spent the rest of my life disproving church myths and traditions. I think a lot of it has to do with that particular priest. He refused to marry an interracial couple even though they were both Catholic. He refused confession to someone who was living common law. He gave single mothers lectures on how he doesn’t care that they have to work two jobs they still need to get to church on time. I even witnessed him asking a mother to leave mass because her baby was crying. It was just all so contradictory to me with what the bible had to say on these topics.

I know not all priests are like that but those experiences left such a sour taste in my mouth that I just couldn’t bother. To be honest it was easier that way for me as well. I could sleep in on Sundays and could push back guilt for my many sins.

Now as I get older I find myself wanting to try again. I have started calling on my faith and God lately during hard times. I didn’t even realise how much that has been helping me until recently. There are still things I do not agree with in the Catholic church itself but I think we’d both be willing to make a compromise.

Last night while channel surfing I stumbled upon a documentry that has had an enormous affect on me and my view of humanity.  I am an avid documentary watcher but I haven’t seen something so shocking and heart breaking in quite some time.  It was most difficult to watch since I am a mother now.  I ask anyone who reads this blog to set aside an hour and a half today and watch it…then do something to help these children…or any children that you may know of that are suffering, and we all know too well that there are children suffering everywhere in the world.

I will warn you that the documentary is graphic and very hard to watch but it amazes me that places like these exist and I am glad someone is calling attention to it.

http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=944239315372248151&q=bulgaria%27s+abandoned+children&total=12&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0

 If the link doesn’t work please just search for Bulgaria’s Abandoned Children on google video.

Here’s a quick video my sister took of me during the Bon Jovi concert

http://s27.photobucket.com/albums/c187/mapleleafsgirl/?action=view&current=deadoralive.flv

I haven’t written in a while and for good reason.  But you can’t know the reason yet because I don’t want to jinx it.  If everything goes as planned my biggest dream in life will come true soon.  And wouldn’t I look stupid if I told you and it fell through…